Pregnancy advice

I've noticed that people are very willing to give advice to you when pregnant... Mostly this advice comes from people I don't know very well.  Which means it is unsolicited and oftentimes strange... strange advice.

-Coming from a middle-aged woman who has never had children:  "If you eat pineapple and mango's you'll go into labor right away"- True or not, I will avoid pineapples and mangos until after finals.

-"Make sure you have the car seat installed before you go to the hospital because they WILL NOT let you leave without one" - While the hospital won't let drive away without one, they certainly won't keep you captive if you try to walk away...

-"If you are grocery shopping when you water breaks, just grab a jar of pickles and drop it on the floor so no one knows the mess was from you" - I doubt the last thing I do if my water breaks, while conveniently at the grocery store, is run to a different isle while trailing a bunch of fluid and throw a jar of pickles on the ground. I have a feeling that would make me look more insane than simply telling someone my water broke and apologize for the mess...

-People often ask me if I've been having contractions, to which I answer, Yes (because I do have them often).  They usually respond by saying something like, "Well, don't get your hopes up, you could be in labor for weeks!" -Thank you. That is exactly what I want to hear as my stomach contracts and hips burn in pain.

-The last week or so I've noticed that even my maternity clothes just don't fit as well anymore.  I have one skirt that has a zipper and I started not to zip it all the way up out of comfort.  One day at work I walked past a lady and she noticed that my shirt hadn't been pulled down in the back and it revealed the top portion of my unzipped zipper *gasp*! She rushed over and started pulling my shirt down for me and telling me how funny I was.  She advised me to "always make sure my shirt is pulled down because it would just be humiliating if someone else saw!" Heaven forbid.

-"For the next few weeks make sure you have gas in your car so you have a way to get to the hospital"

-"Just get the epidural the moment you get to the hospital because you do not want to know what real pain feels like"

-After telling the doctor about some very uncomfortable and sudden pain I've felt in the past day or two, he responded with a sympathetic look and "I hate to tell you that it will probably just get worse- but you can always take a warm bath or shower, warm compresses, or tylenol to help it feel better".  I bet there is nothing worse than telling a very pregnant person that the only real relief is the actual birth of their baby, which won't be happening for another few weeks.